It's an hour into Wednesday and I've yet to obey my 12 o'clock bedtime (I swear it only happens when I'm living under my parents' roof).

I'm homesick. So far away from all the things I believe in, so far from the things I'm a slave to. I hear things - from the social media accessibility, but I can't touch. I can't change, I can't shift, I can't feel - I can only observe. I'm a prisoner of my own choice, perhaps, I should look at this differently.


Friends tell me, they would much rather be in my shoes. Few months off life after graduation, in Pacific Islands, doing nothing but pursuing things that I want for betterment of my soul. But I did not want to take a break, I insist on being in a rush to grow up, because a few months off would mean blowing away an opportunity that could have been mine. That could have probably, made me a complete human being.


There it is again, the idealistic in me prances around, riding each path I consider, creating disappointments in illusions.


I read a philosophy book late last year, which said; You need friends to always reconfirm your identity.

I am going to be without friends for the next few months, therefore I can be whoever. I can re-invent myself. And when I decide I like the change, I'm going to come back home with a fresh point of view. Perhaps, one that fits a growing 21-year old?

There it is again. Idealistic thought, tsk tsk tsk.

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It's an hour into Wednesday and I've yet to obey my 12 o'clock bedtime (I swear it only happens when I'm living under my parents' roof).

I'm homesick. So far away from all the things I believe in, so far from the things I'm a slave to. I hear things - from the social media accessibility, but I can't touch. I can't change, I can't shift, I can't feel - I can only observe. I'm a prisoner of my own choice, perhaps, I should look at this differently.


Friends tell me, they would much rather be in my shoes. Few months off life after graduation, in Pacific Islands, doing nothing but pursuing things that I want for betterment of my soul. But I did not want to take a break, I insist on being in a rush to grow up, because a few months off would mean blowing away an opportunity that could have been mine. That could have probably, made me a complete human being.


There it is again, the idealistic in me prances around, riding each path I consider, creating disappointments in illusions.


I read a philosophy book late last year, which said; You need friends to always reconfirm your identity.

I am going to be without friends for the next few months, therefore I can be whoever. I can re-invent myself. And when I decide I like the change, I'm going to come back home with a fresh point of view. Perhaps, one that fits a growing 21-year old?

There it is again. Idealistic thought, tsk tsk tsk.